An Excerpt From Sources

There are 3 ways to get something done:
1) Do it yourself
2) Hire someone to do it for you
3) Forbid your kids to do it.
--Unknown

"Archaeologist: A man whose career is in ruins".
--Hal Roach

If necessity is the mother of invention, what was papa doing?
--Ruth Weekley

"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors....and miss
--Unknown

My mother's menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
--Buddy Hackett

A diplomat is a man who remembers a woman's birthday, but never remembers her age.
--Robert Frost

One man in a thousand is a leader of men- the other 999 follow women
--Groucho Marx

Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems,but it makes things more acceptable for a while.
--Unknown

A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something right.
--Unknown.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called MARRIAGE.
--James Holt Mc gauran

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? --George Carlin

'Okay, so god made man first-But doesn't everyone make a rough draft before they make a masterpiece?'
--Courtney houston

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.
--Don Herold.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
--Franklin P Jones

Older people shouldn't eat health food; they need all the preservative they can get
--Robert Orben.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said ' Get the hell off my property'
--Joan Rives.

Memory is what tells a man that his wife's birthday was yesterday.
--Mario Rocco.

"Death and taxes are both certain. But death isn't annual".--Unknown.

Age is a question of mind over matter. As long as you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
--Satchel Paige.