"Ignorance is bliss". But i have never had that bliss coz all that innocence and ignorance was taken away from me even before i entered into this real world. Hyderabad, the city of nawabs has taken away so much that all that it has given me remain shrouded and have been sent to oblivion.
It has taken away my childhood from me. And i blame it on all those people around me, who have corrupted the mind of an 8 year old girl and made her know all those things she shouldn't have.
At a very young age i was sent to live with my grandparents at coimbatore. However,after grandpa's demise grandma sent me to live in a hostel with a very close freind of mine called smitha.
Like all other girls i can't just ignore things. Things that are small but so intense and overt that they can change a girl's life,her perspective towards things forever.
I don't understand how a girl can ignore those comments,starings,pouting lips,weird sounds made by those men.I don't understand why i have to face those violations when i never get dressed provocatively.
I just don't understand. I don't.
One day when smitha and i were heading towards a store i heard a large vroom sound of that of a vehicle. As we moved ahead the sound grew larger and larger.
vroom,vroom.....It felt like somebody was right behind us on a vehicle.
Vroom,vroom,vroom and then something happened. I was in a shock for few seconds,and then i realised that i was hit by a brat driving a bike. Before i could yell at him or utter something he flew away. He hit me very hard on the waist. Smitha and i looked at each other in the eyes in a state of helplessness. I was hardly 17 then.All through the way neither i spoke to her nor she did . We were thinking about the same thing.Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to accept this as part of our life. Though he hit me on the waist i felt like he stabbed me in the heart with a dagger.
I was upset about what had happened and was waiting for smitha outside the store. A well groomed man in his 20's came and stood beside me. Smitha was busy picking her books from the store. The man asked me something and came closer. He came closer and was so close that i smelled cigarettes from him. I moved away from him. He stood there staring at me persistently as if i was naked.
When smitha was done with her purchase we were on our way back. Needless to say,he followed us. In a moment he overtook us and grabbed smitha's hand uttering..
'eh babe come to me!'
smitha stuggled to loosen her hand and i kept beating him on his head.But he didn't leave her. He was holding her so tight. I picked up the books that have fallen down from her hand and gave him a shot on his face with it.oooo! that was quite a hard one i guess. He ran away. The other men around us looked at us as if some sort of game was going on. some laughed at us,some gazed,some shunned us as if they didn't belong to that place and have nothing to do with it.
So each day men of all age,all religion kept on wrecking me mentally. I knew that this was just the beginning. The worst things were yet to come. At each stage of my life all those eyes around me kept telling me that i was a girl,just a pile of body pieces and not an individual. I was a public property.
After spending almost all my teenage years in coimbatore,i was going to my hometown hyderabad back to my parents,back to jane and joe. Haven't met them for years.
Oh! By the way. Jane is my elder sister. She is a girl every boy would crave for. She has a fair complexion,long curly hair,expressive eyes and a perfect body. She is beauty with brains,and joe he is my baby brother.
I reached home on my birthday. The front door of our house was partially open. I could hear loud voices. May be some kind of altercation was going on. Looked like i was there at the wrong time. I entered the room. All of them were present there,mom,dad,jane,joe. Nobody noticed me.
'I told you jane. You can't marry him, you don't even know him',this was mom.
But mom,we've been hanging around for 3 months.
I know him very well.
If i don't get married to him,i won't get married at all,this was jane.
'How can you be so sure that he is the right person for you?'
Oh mom please! How do you know that he is not?
So it was clear that whoever this person was jane wanted to marry him.
I was still standing there in silence until joe saw me.
kia,kia....he shouted.
Mom,dad,look! Its kia.
Kia you are back,he came running to me and hugged me. I hugged every one there and as usual no one remembered that it was my birthday. No one.
The next day mom came to me and said,'kia,you must invite him to lunch.I want to meet this guy Darren.'
Who is Darren? i asked.
'He is jane's interest',she said.
But mom, i don't even know him.
'Don't worry. Joe will take you to his place. You have to do this.
Is it ok with you?'
But...ok, whatever.
I was sitting in my room and was thinking about this Darren. Meanwhile, Jane came to me and told me every thing about him. I learned through her that he was an executive in a software company. I completely supported her. After all,she was mature enough to take her own decisions. I was sure that she wouldn't choose a wrong guy.
It was late night and i was still wide awake. Just couldn't sleep. I heard someone coming towards my room.
'Knock,knock,knock...'
Come in.
It was joe.
He sat on the bed and murmured something.
Joe! What are you doing here?
Is there something you want to share with me?
'Kia, don't let this happen.'
'Don't let it....'
What are you talking about?
'That guy Darren'
Oh, you mean jane's interest.
'yes that guy'
Ya, what ?
'you don't understand.'
Oh god joe! What is it tell me.
'Listen,that guy darren,i saw him kissing a girl at a restuarant.'
What?
Shut up joe,are you listening to yourself.
'But,but i saw him.....'
Just go to sleep.we have to visit his place tomorrow to invite him for lunch.
For some reason i didn't believe joe. Jane can't choose a wrong person! I knew her very well.
So in the morning, joe and i went to his place. There was no one in the guest room. We both sat and were waiting for Darren. He knew that we were coming. After a few seconds we heard voices from upstairs. Each word was loud and clear.The voice was that of a woman.
"you liar! you cheat!"
"you are getting married to her, she shouted"
'Shut up!' this was a man's voice
"Why should i? You told me that you love me and wanted to marry me, and now you are getting married to her?"
'Shut up, you bitch and get lost'
"Yes i will you bastard! and will never see your face again"
'Bang',someone closed the door from behind and there came a lady all in tears,leaving the room.
'Bang', someone opened the door, an ugly looking man came out and accosted us.
'Hi! look who is here',lovely kia and joe. welcome, so you've come to invite me for lunch eh? I'll be there.
Hi! you must be darren. Is something wrong? I asked.
'No,why? Oh! so you heard all that crap.
Yes, i did. Who was she ? i asked inquisitively.
'Eh, just a ditsy freind of mine, bugs me up all the time. But you don't worry. Once jane is into my life every thing is gonna change.'
With a fake smile i said , i am sure it will.
Darren accompanied by his mother came to our place. She was seeing jane for the first time.
'so you are jane ,she said. My son keeps talking about you all the time. she turned to my parents and said, we got many proposals for darren.But he rejected all and chose your daughter.'
And regarding dowry...
'Mom ! Darren stopped her there."
'you see uncle, he continued. I am a well educated person and strictly against dowry. But mom wouldn't listen. So you give the best of your capability in cash and we need a latest luxury car as well.
But, but....,dad wanted to say something.
Darren interrupted him saying, 'no,no uncle! its not for me. Its to pacify mother.(Oh really you moron! why does jane like you? May be joe was right, i was thinking to myself)
'You wouldn't like it if your daughter moved around in buses and autos, would you? After all now she is my daughter too,Darren's mother said pompously."
The moron's wishes were fulfilled and they got married. Darren took leave from his office for one month. I asked him why he did that. Why he took off for so many days when all his work was pending at the office.
He said, because i love jane.
Love.
Hah, I LOVE YOU. These are the 3 words that have become like sorry's and thankyou's. All you guys out there know what i am talking about.
His company was moving to Pune. So they got settled there. Since then jane never called us and never took our calls. May be she was so happy and engrossed in her married life that she never missed any of us.
Two years later, she called up and said that she was expecting and was coming to hyderabad as darren couldn't take off from his work.(So Mr.moron did not have time to take care of his so called love)
They parcelled her to Hyd. Parcelled because they considered her as a commodity. A commodity which produces children.
After nine months the much awaited day arrived.Jane was admitted to hospital. we just prayed that every thing goes well. After few hours doctor came and gave us the news. Jane gave birth to a cute little baby girl, a little jane. All of them were very happy.
I went to Darren and said ,so Mr.daddy lets celebrate.
'Heck! whats there to celebrate. Its a girl. I have to save money from now on for her marriage. And besides that whose gonna give dowry? They are asking so much now a days.Next time i will see to it that she undergoes a pre-natal scanning test.
While little jane was asleep and enjoying the warmth of her mother's shoulders, for all those men out there it was a girl, just a pile of body pieces and not an individual.For them
"SHE WAS A PUBLIC PROPERTY."
